A Rant as to why Paleontologists and Nerds shouldn’t be angry with “Jurassic World” already…

Before we begin, can we please take the time to admire this fan art?

jurassic-world-jurassic-park-plot-and-dinosaur-details-revealed

Will you look at that thing? Oh my god, it is so cool- swear to god, this would make an amazing balcony view:
“Hey honey, would you like to lie down on the T-rex’s tongue and look at the stars…gaze at the moon and bask in it’s light…?”
“I thought you’d never ask…te-hee…”

But i digress…

Has anyone seen the recent Jurassic World trailer? Well, it’s not that recent: the recent one is the Avengers; Age of Ultron trailer 2 but nevertheless, have you seen it? If not, watch it now and let’s come back here after you do-

Alright, now that you are back; what did you think? For fans of the original, it doesn’t really strike as much. For those who have not heard of Jurassic Park (and yes, those people do exist)- it doesn’t really strike as much for them either. And you can’t blame them as well. Granted, director Colin Trevorrow has tried his best to create a continuation of the series (read: movie)  that remains faithful to Spielberg’s original vision. But sadly, he fails a bit and it’s not his fault- back then when technology was not as developed as it is today, it was a feat to impress the audience due to the limitations you had with you. When creating Jurassic Park, the people’s perception of dinosaurs were very different back then- they were viewed as slow and dimwitted but the movie changed all of that. The movie changed cinema forever due to it’s skillful combination of CGI and puppetry and the people’s perception of dinosaurs were changed as well. Now, dinosaurs were not something you’d like to encounter- no. Rather, they were a force to reckon with. And Spielberg and his team worked hard with scientists to make sure they got a lot of stuff about dinosaurs right and they nearly succeeded in doing so. Suddenly, T-Rex was not something one made fun off…

Jurassic-Park-T-Rex1
( Try making fun of this guy- i dare ‘ya )

Even then, Spielberg got most of his stuff wrong- the velociraptors had feathers, they weren’t that big in real life..yadda yadda but it didn’t matter. “Jurassic Park” had science as it’s base. Sure, not complete, accurate science, but it was the fact , the assumption that something like this could possibly happen, that niggling thought at the back of your head is what excited and scared audiences back then and even now. It’s was one of the reasons for the movie’s massive success and popularity. And Trevorrow has it different from how it was before. Now in this age- the GLORIOUS AGE OF CGI- it is very hard to evoke that sort of awe and a sense of wonder in a person. Before CGI became commonplace, people would wonder how a monster such as the T-rex was created. Now we have idiots, who after watching a CGI movie laugh scornfully, “Haha…FAKE!” And you can’t blame them completely either; we have  experienced movies that were heavily laden with CGI, movies that nearly bored us to death. So getting our first view of the dinosaurs from the trailer didn’t really evoke that same sense of awe and wonder we got while watching “Jurassic Park”, in fact, i don’t think we really felt anything at all. I’m pretty sure when people got their first view of the movie’s dinosaurs, most just went “Ho-hum, yet another CGI monster. What’s new?” You can’t blame as well because they are partly right and also partly because of the movie’s new giant-

Mosasaur_Feeding_Show

What is up with this new dinosaur? It looks fake as hell! Is this the pre-production look of the dinosaur? I hope so because it looks very bad, like as if it swam off the sets of the new “Sharktopus” movie. And just look at that audience and the stadium built for them. And that Metro like rail right next to it. I’m sorry but that scene before where the Mosasaurus eats the shark is very reminiscent of a “Hunger Games” scene. Trevorrow has it very hard because is basically trying to present a continuation of a beloved series as something new to an audience that has literally seen it all. But his effort is commendable; the movie deals with the same aspect as did the original movie, that life, no matter what you do cannot be contained. It will try to escape, it will succeed and it will thrive. I know by now that when it comes to watching movies, the books don’t count even if a movie is based on it as the representation of the story in a book and the movie are two different entities, though they might be the same story (Ex; The Harry Potter series). In the book, “Jurassic Park”, Michael Chricton’s character, Dr. Ian Malcolm (played by Jeff Goldblum in the movie) stresses on how an idea like Jurassic Park could never ever work in real life due to the existence of the ever changing variables present. Having read that, it became very difficult for me to envision a Jurassic Park which could be regularly visited by visitors as the book states that something wrong would surely happen even before the advent of visitors. In “Jurassic World” however, it has been made very clear that visitors have been visiting the park for quite sometime now and that Masrani tech (the fictitious company who created the dinosaurs of this movie) which took over InGen (John Hammond’s company who created the dinosaurs in the original movie) actually managed to succeed in bringing John Hammond’s vision to life. Of course, things does go wrong later as shown in the trailer but after nearly twenty years: twenty years during which Masrani had against all odds succeeded in containing life and they only failed later because they tried to tamper with genetics and breed new dinosaurs which had never existed before because a plan like that is not crazy and unethical at all, right? Therefore this current premise of “Jurassic World” is much more exciting compared to the previous ideas at bringing Jurassic 4 to life: ideas that involved dinos with guns (which was abandoned) and a freakishly scary plot involving human hybrid dinosaurs with even scarier looking concept art. Just have a look at this thing-

Jurassic Park IVScreenshot-2014-11-26-at-3.05.36-PM

This, my friends, is the stuff of nightmares.

So, even with CGI (which Trevorrow claims does not make most of the movie and that practical effects are involved), references to the original movie, cliched lines and Bryce Dallas Howard, it actually has quite a lot going for it, not to mention it actually looks like an interesting watch. (And Chris Pratt, let’s not forget Chris Pratt) And hey, we can’t really say or comment much right now at this stage, right? I mean, all we really got was just a trailer which really didn’t feature that many dino clips, just a few brief shots here and there, or even the movie’s main attraction- Indominus Rex, which based on rumors looks like a crossbreed of the T-Rex, Velociraptor, cuttlefish, and a death adder with human genes spliced into it’s DNA. So something like this, perhaps?-

jasinWTF
( Cthulhu-saurus Rex? )

Of course not. But if we are gonna get a crossbreed dinosaur, an entirely new species, it’s all the more reason for us, the audience to stop saying more because at this point, we are not even dealing with actual science now- just entertainment mixed with a bit of science like the original Jurassic Park. So it shouldn’t be taken seriously at all, not now or later. Keep in mind that whatever happens, whether this movie becomes a hit or not, in the end it’ll still remain a movie made to delight and entertain audiences. But apparently, that is not the case with dinosaur nerds and paleontologists now. They are livid.

Brian Switek, author of the book My Beloved Brontosaurus writes that the film’s fictional super-intelligent, genetically-modified dinosaur shouldn’t have thumbs.

“From trailer, looks like ‘s Big Bad has thumbs. Yeah. A huge, smart, carnivorous dinosaur with thumbs sounds like a GREAT idea”

Morgan Jackson, a blogger and insect nerd from Canada, is upset about the film showing a crane fly trapped in amber when it’s supposed to be a mosquito.

“Dear , Entomologists are real. We’re actually quite nice. Please ask us why mosquitos /= crane flies “

Darren Naish, a zoologist who specializes in dinosaurs in the UK, is most perturbed by the decision not to include feathered dinosaurs.

“Basic message of is “Screw you, science, we don’t need your stinking feathers!! This is alt-future-1993!!”

Mega-mosasaur has palatal teeth (well done) but no forked tongue-tip as per the platynotan hypothesis (boo). And.. frill? FFS”

Do you nerds sincerely believe that the producers of a movie about a dinosaur theme park with genetically modified monsters weren’t really concerned with scientific accuracy? Are you all for real? Somewhere, Speilberg is glad that he didn’t have to deal with you people.

It’s not just nerds. We have paleontologists as well. Here we have Hans-Dieter Sues, National Museum of Natural History Curator of Vertebrate Paleontology who complains that the dinosaur reconstructions are totally out of date and the Smithsonian who claim that the raptors should have been feathered. To them, i ask a question. Does this modern representation of a velociraptor look at all intimidating in any way?

f061cfb8-4c6b-4b37-b4d4-7a75f6881c0f-620x620

It’s an overgrown chicken! This thing is not intimidating at all. Do you have any idea how expensive it’ll be to animate those feathers in a movie? And plus, this is the very exact old complaint rehashed again for Jurassic Park where paleontologists complained that the velociraptors shouldn’t be that big, that they were twice the size and should have feathers. Granted, most of this information weren’t available back then but still, an argument was made that questioned the velociraptor’s height and ferocity. One of my questions to you know is why you, who is working in an ever evolving field make claims that this is how it was and how it should be and every other representation is wrong? Didn’t you guys tell the producers of Jurassic Park that a raptor of human height couldn’t not exist? And after the release of the movie, you guys discovered Utahraptor? A human size, featherless raptor?

Turok_Utahraptor(Utahraptor- a featherless, human sized, “velociraptor” like raptor )

Another complaint being made about the raptors is that scene where Chris Pratt rides to probably save the day with Velociraptors running beside him. Rumors have it that Pratt’s character is supposed to have tamed the Raptors and the nerds are fidgeting angrily in their La-Z-boy chairs-

 640_jurassic_world_embed2

And the other complaint is the Mosasaurus (in pre-production stage hopefully) who Paleontologists complain is and i quote “Too big and the frill at it’s back should not be there….)

 112614_Mosasaur_FEAT-322x268
( Roar…? )

But-

When mosasaur has pterygoid teeth (specialist knowledge), but theropods don’t have feathers (when everyone knows they do).

So, basically, the only thing they are happy about is that the “Jurassic World” team got…the teeth right? What a weird, obscure thing to be happy about…

jurassic-world-trailer-image-7
( Mosasaurus’s ecstatic face at the dentist’s… )

This is where you nerds and paleontologists went too far- you nitpicked a bit too much.
Let’s deal with the Chris Pratt scene first. First of all, even you can’t help but admit that the scene looks incredibly cool, ok? It’s Star Lord riding with Velociraptors- this is who every kid wants be right now. Including me. Let me show the pic again to remind you how awesome that scene is-

640_jurassic_world_embed2( Look at that heroic face…)

Secondly, let me remind you all that you are making all is complaints and assumptions over brief blink-and-miss clips. Out of those 2.5 seconds, how did you all manage to determine the entire size of the Mosasaurus? We didn’t get a proper look at the entire stadium for you to do that. This is something that you need to do AFTER the movie releases when you got a good detailed look at the dino bad boys. Complain all you want then.

And Chris Pratt taming the velociraptors is a rumor. Don’t start with how a ferocious creature like the Velociraptor can’t be tamed as your entire knowledge of the raptor is based on assumptions. Maybe they could be tamed- you don’t know, you haven’t met them or come in close contact with one. Maybe these new, human sized, featherless raptors can be trained, huh?

Or maybe Pratt doesn’t tame the raptors. Maybe they are just running beside him because they are all running towards something big. Remember the final scene of “Jurassic Park”? The raptors ignored Sam Neill, Laura Dern and the kids when T-rex burst in and they attacked him instead. And that’s what they probably are doing now. The only reason these raptors aren’t attacking Chris is because maybe a big dino, possibly Indominus Rex is doing something to their territory. You can’t really expect a raptor to go, “Must save territory…OH LOOK! Human on bike- must eat human now. Priority changed due to munchies.” now, can you?

Or even if Pratt’s character tamed the raptor’s, i’m sure the director has an explanation that will calm you all so relax and take a chill pill.

As for those begging for “realism”, let me point out a couple of things-
– There is no such thing as realism in movies.
-“Jurassic Park” isn’t “realistic” as well. And so is Jurassic World. You are begging for realism in movies where you cannot bring Dinosaurs back to life as they do in the movies. The very basic premise of the movie isn’t realistic.
-You have only seen the trailer where you got brief glimpses. So stop making assumptions and watch the movie first. You can then rant as much as you want.

Or let’s not do this all. Let’s make a movie that is bombastic, ridiculous, unrealistic and will satisfy EVERYBODY. Hey, Spielberg- remember the original scrapped plan for Jurassic 4? The one with Dino’s with guns? Yeah, let’s make that the sequel or reboot now, shall we?

4fuFk( *Insert cool, memorable, quotable dialogue here* )

And everyone lived happily ever after. And the nerds rested in peace.

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